you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
