you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just puked most of my soul out..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
