I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
