It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
