dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
