I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
