Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
