took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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