Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I love how my cats smell like pot.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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