my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
