I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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