I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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