...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
4 words: hood of his car
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
