yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize