she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
