i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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