I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
