Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
pop tarts are not kleenex
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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