you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
