i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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