cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
