I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
