When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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