okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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