is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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