she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize