You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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