better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
