I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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