I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
