My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
