rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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