Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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