Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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