you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
