I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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