i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
