you have to choose: penises or morals?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
