happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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