we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
