This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
