Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
