that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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