naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
