I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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