Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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