I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have feelings that need drinking.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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