You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
