yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
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please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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