I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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