is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
