That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
birth control should be required to get into college
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
