wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
