Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
