forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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