Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
