I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
