member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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