But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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