Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
