No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
