I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
