I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck appropriateness.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
