East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
