After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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