apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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