Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
