Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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