The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
