i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
